By James Harvey Stout (deceased). This material is now in the public domain. The complete collection of Mr. Stout's writing is now at http://stout.mybravenet.com/public_html/h/ >
Note:
Jump to the following song lyrics:
I played CDs
For my little girl.
And I strummed
My guitar for her.
Baby loved rock music
Since she was one year old.
She grew up
On rock and roll.
She's a chip off the old rock,
Daddy's little star.
Banging on a table
While I play my guitar.
Other kids
Sang nursery rhymes,
While she was singing
About rocking times.
She shocked them all
At show-and-tell,
With a song by AC/DC:
Highway To Hell.
She's a chip off the old rock,
Daddy's little star.
Banging on a table
While I play my guitar.
She's heard it all
From Beethoven to Bach.
But my baby
Wants to rock.
I tell her,
"Don't grow up too soon."
But that little girl
Loves rock tunes.
She's a chip off the old rock,
Daddy's little star.
Banging on a table
While I play my guitar.
I'm going to the open prairie.
So long, Long Island Ferry.
I'll make it there,
And I'll stay there.
Home cooking every morning —
Fresh corn, and
A chicken to lay an
Egg right in the pan.
Give me country stuff.
Give it all day through.
Give me country love
With you.
No more high-speed traffic,
Just rapid rabbits.
When I get mugged,
It'll be by bugs.
When my time is free,
I'll do country things:
See the county fair,
Make my dancing square.
Give me country stuff.
Give it all day through.
Give me country love
With you.
Country girl, I'm yours.
I'll help with the chores.
We'll stay home sometimes,
And drink dandelion wine.
We'll raise a couple country kids,
Named Joshua and Liz.
We'll wake them for breakfast
With a rooster named Silas.
Give me country stuff.
Give it all day through.
Give me country love
With you.
Cowboy music
Is my new thing.
Now I play
Guitar the cowboy way,
And I crack my voice when I sing.
I play cowboy music
To my mules and my sheep.
Cowboy songs to my wife.
Cowboy lullabies at night,
So my cowboy baby can sleep.
I'm a cowboy in training,
With no brain in my head.
I sing by a campfire,
With a cowboy guitar,
And wear cowboy boots to bed.
My wife is a cowgirl,
With a saddle in the seat of her car.
She gets up at six,
To cook my grits,
With her diploma in the fire.
I roll my tobacco,
At my home on the range.
Until disco comes back in,
And I play that again,
This cowboy will never change.
I'm a cowboy in training,
With no brain in my head.
I sing by a campfire,
With a cowboy guitar,
And wear cowboy boots to bed.
Yippee-o yippee-o ki-ay.
Yippee-o yippee ki-ay.
With a ya-hoo,
And a soo-ee, too,
I have a cowboy song to play.
I'm a cowboy in training,
With no brain in my head.
I sing by a campfire,
With a cowboy guitar,
And wear cowboy boots to bed.
You want some love
To last eternally.
So here is a love song
For you and me.
Love songs always talk about
Love that never dies.
So here is what you want.
It may be a surprise.
We'll have a crazy glue romance.
We'll always stick together.
Bonded through eternity,
You'll never get rid of me.
You'd better get used to me, forever.
I'm the guy in the love songs
Who says no one loves you like I do.
No one holds hand like this --
Me and you and a handful of crazy glue.
If I'm true to the love song,
I won't live without your love.
You can be my life-support.
If you leave me, pull the plug.
We'll have a crazy glue romance.
We'll always stick together.
Bonded through eternity,
You'll never get rid of me.
You'd better get used to me, forever.
Let's live like in a love song,
Together til we're dead.
If I go first, you can keep me
In a bottle by the bed.
We'll have a crazy glue romance.
We'll always stick together.
Bonded through eternity,
You'll never get rid of me.
You'd better get used to me, forever.
I want a girl I'll remember
Years from now.
It might not last,
But one in my past
Will stand out.
Some women are like
Interchangeable parts.
Some look the same,
With no name,
And no heart.
I don't want a generic lover.
Give me one who stands alone.
Better than any other.
I don't care for generic lovers. No no.
I run to
The girl of my dreams.
But I stop
If she's a carbon copy
In jeans.
A lady has
Her own smile,
And a face
You can't replace
In her style.
I don't want a generic lover.
Give me one who stands alone.
Better than any other.
I don't care for generic lovers. No no.
Please be
Special to me.
If you're not like the rest,
You might be best
For me.
Let's do
Something new.
If I find
You stay in my mind,
I'll love you.
I don't want a generic lover.
Give me one who stands alone.
Better than any other.
I don't care for generic lovers. No no.
I raised my son right,
Singing to him every night.
But he went wrong.
Now he hates my songs.
In our good home,
I made him read Rolling Stone.
But my "chip off the old block"
Doesn't like rock.
Junior doesn't like rock and roll.
He thinks I am getting old.
He rides elevators all day
Because he likes the music they play.
At his first birthday bash,
I gave him CDs by the Clash.
Instead of sucking his thumb,
He was playing a drum.
But then some fool,
A bad influence at school,
Gave him middle-of-the-road
Barry Manilow.
Junior doesn't like rock and roll.
He thinks I am getting old.
He rides elevators all day
Because he likes the music they play.
By the age of three,
He was singing with me.
I was a good Dad,
But my boy went bad.
Now quietly in his room,
He listens to Muzak tunes,
While I'm in the den,
Turning my amp to ten.
Junior doesn't like rock and roll.
He thinks I am getting old.
He rides elevators all day
Because he likes the music they play.
I can't drink that girl
Out of my lonely head,
So I'll quit this bottle
And try something else instead.
I never run away
From a problem I see.
But they say that jogging
Can comfort me.
I'll put on running shoes,
And run her out of my mind,
Before I try
Love one more time.
I'll trade my aching heart
For my two sore legs,
As I run past her house
And this honky-tonk's keg.
I'll get winded
As I run that mile.
It's the only heavy breathing
I'll do for a while.
I'll put on running shoes,
And run her out of my mind,
Before I try
Love one more time.
A shot of fresh air might
Do good for me --
A run in the hills,
With new scenery.
And when I feel better,
I'll come back to town,
And find a girl
Who won't run me around.
Or I'll put on running shoes,
And run her out of my mind,
Before I try
Love one more time.
That old man on the stage
Must be four times my age.
I was born in ‘82,
And I don't remember you.
But you play real good rock.
Rock rock around the clock.
But the spotlight
Makes your bald head bright.
If you're older than my dad,
I don't care.
You can play in a wheelchair.
I don't mind that you're 50 years old,
In your second half-century of rock and roll.
Don't introduce the songs you play.
I don't know them anyway.
When you come alive,
You could be twenty-five.
You're oldies are goodies. That's the truth.
Rock is your fountain of youth.
You look like a prune,
But I love your tune.
If you're older than my dad,
I don't care.
You can play in a wheelchair.
I don't mind that you're 50 years old,
In your second half-century of rock and roll.
I don't know your hit singles.
I don't care about your wrinkles.
You're senile,
But you make me smile.
In 20 years, you'll be fine.
Your grandchildren will stand in line.
Drink a toast with Geritol
To rock and roll.
If you're older than my dad,
I don't care.
You can play in a wheelchair.
I don't mind that you're 50 years old,
In your second half-century of rock and roll.
I can talk to her
Like a friend.
She's intelligent.
She smiles
With a steady gaze
And a knowing look on her face.
One thing touches my heart.
That's a girl who's smart.
She knows what she likes
And what doesn't suit her.
She's got the mind of a computer.
She's a
Calculating lass,
With style as smooth as glass.
I love to put
My hands on her,
‘Cause she gives me every answer.
One thing touches my heart.
That's a girl who's smart.
She knows what she likes
And what doesn't suit her.
She's got the mind of a computer.
She isn't shy.
She doesn't lie.
She's the Apple of my eye.
She knows when to byte,
And when to play games,
And when to touch me with her brain.
One thing touches my heart.
That's a girl who's smart.
She knows what she likes
And what doesn't suit her.
She's got the mind of a computer.
I was driving down the freeway
With no place to go.
I pulled into a rest stop
In my Winnebago.
I turned off my windshield wipers,
Turned down my defrost.
I stuck my head out the window,
And said, "I do believe I'm lost."
I was looking for the promised land,
And a sky of blue.
A snowbird landed on my roof
And told me what to do.
It said,
There ain't no sun in Oregon.
No clear days in L.A.
Don't go to Minnesota,
‘Cause the snow won't go away.
You'd drive sideways on Wyoming ice
In foggy, frosty air.
You should go to Arizona,
‘Cause I've heard
They like snowbirds there.
Now I'm happy
Despite the heat in this face.
I would smile but it puts little cracks
In the sunburn on my face.
Tap-dancing around the scorpions,
I'm never alone.
With feet full of friendly chollas
That want me to take them home.
[Spoken]: I've run from coyotes, snakes, spiders, tarantulas, and
scary critters I can't identify.
And my thermometer blew up at 126.
But in Arizona I'll stay —
At least until next April or until my radiator gets fixed.
There ain't no sun in Oregon.
No clear days in L.A.
Don't go to Minnesota,
‘Cause the snow won't go away.
You'd drive sideways on Wyoming ice
In foggy, frosty air.
You should go to Arizona,
‘Cause I've heard
They like snowbirds there.
I have no South-sea cruise
To shoo your blues away.
But I have
Love to warm a winter day.
Southern exposure.
Windows open wide.
Come out, come out.
Sunshine is fine outside.
I promise you warm weather
Whenever we're together.
And don't worry about snowing,
‘Cause it ain't going to snow.
Sunlight's here,
So wear your summer clothes.
Be my southern lady,
No Eskimo.
My love will take you
To the equator.
You'll be warm tonight
And later.
I promise you warm weather
Whenever we're together.
And don't worry about snowing,
‘Cause it ain't going to snow.
Let's put on our swim things,
And go to the shore.
The sun is bright.
Sun will make us warm.
Heat waves, good days
From now on.
We will see
Warm skies at dawn.
I promise you warm weather
Whenever we're together.
And don't worry about snowing,
‘Cause it ain't going to snow.
