Self-Talk
By
James Harvey Stout (deceased). This material is now in the public
domain. The complete collection of Mr. Stout's writing is now at
http://stout.mybravenet.com/public_html/h/
>
Jump to the following topics:
- What is self-talk?
- We all use
various types of self-talk.
- How does self-talk
work?
- The techniques of
self-talk.
What is self-talk? It is a verbal
statement which we say (or think) in order to implant specific
thoughts into our archetypal fields. It is one technique of
"archetypal field-work," which also includes visualization, energy
toning, and acting-as-if. (Self-talk is also called "affirmation.")
We all use
various types of self-talk. While we might be skeptical of self-talk
as a viable technique for changing our lives, we can consider some
evidence that our words do have an effect:
- Inner monologue. We are continually telling ourselves the
meaning of things and events around us; the technique of self-talk
is based upon the idea that the inner monologue affects our
perceptions and our responses. Therefore, a change in that
inner monologue will alter those perceptions and responses -- and
our life in general.
- Self-fulfilling prophecy. Our beliefs seem to affect our
outcome.
- Optimism. A general upbeat attitude seems to help some people
in facing the challenges of life.
How does self-talk work? In
every situation, we are dealing with archetypes. As we respond to an
archetype -- with our thoughts, images, energy tones, and actions --
we leave an imprint in the field which surrounds that archetype.
Later, when we encounter the archetype again, we tend to respond it
on the basis of these previous elements, because the mind uses the
elements as a reference to discern "How do I tend to respond to this
situation?" (The reference is used to simplify the mind's operation,
so that it does not have to totally improvise a response, but instead
it can default to this template.) Thus, we tend to respond in the
same way whenever we encounter that archetype. When we use the
technique of self-talk, we intentionally implant specific thoughts
into the archetypal field, so that those thoughts will be the ones
which are used when we meet that archetype again; for example, if we
create the self-talk statement, "I am patient," that thought will be
present when we are in a circumstance in which we might otherwise be
impatient. Ideally, we would refer to our intuition to
generate thoughts, images, energy tones, and actions -- but, because
we are often not aware of guidance from intuition, the mind uses
these defaults -- the previously implanted thoughts -- to
automatically formulate a response.
The techniques of
self-talk. Self-talk statements are most effective when they comply
with these guidelines, which are based upon the nature and dynamics
of spirit, archetypes, and archetypal fields.
- We can use the general guidelines which are in the chapter
regarding archetypal field-work. To avoid redundancy, those
guidelines are not repeated here.
- We can combine the aspects of field-work. For example, while
using self-talk, we can use:
- Directed imagination. For example, while we say, "I am
relaxed when speaking in front of groups," we imagine ourselves
standing confidently at a podium.
- The as-if principle. Whenever we act "as if," we can say
self-talk statements to affirm the action which we are
performing; for example, if we are acting as if we are
peaceful, we can state, "I enjoy being relaxed" or "My body
knows how to relax."
- Energy toning (i.e., emotions and feelings). We can use
energy toning in various ways while saying self-talk
statements:
- We say the statements with the corresponding energy
tone. For example, if we are stating, "I enjoy finding
reasons to be happy," we intentionally generate the energy
tone of happiness.
- We use words which portray emotion. For example,
the sentence, "I enjoy finding reasons to be happy,"
is more powerful than "I find reasons to be happy."
- We enjoy the natural feeling of joy which arises when we
use a well-designed self-talk statement. Naturally, we feel
better when we say something which causes happiness; we are
increasing the flow of our life-substance (i.e., spirit).
- We say the statement with various energy tones. We are
most likely to remember the thoughts which we implanted when
we were in an emotional state resembling our current state;
for example, when we are depressed, we tend to refer to the
constellation which we traditionally use when we are
depressed. (A constellation is a group of associated
thoughts, images, energy tones, and physical habits.)
Therefore, we need to implant our thoughts with a variety of
energy tones, so that those thoughts will be the dominant
constellation in any mood which might occur in the future.
- We can sing or yell the self-talk statement, to express
more emotion and feeling.
- We are careful about our thoughts and spoken words when
we are experiencing intense emotions, because we know that
those thoughts will contain a significant charge of energy
when they are implanted in our archetypal fields. At a later
time, this undischarged energy will compel us to re-create
the situation in order to release the energy; that process
is called "karma." To minimize the harmful effect of this
retained energy, we can associate it with a self-talk
statement which is balanced and productive; for example,
instead of saying, "I hate people who intrude on me," we can
use that same energy to say, "I enjoy having secure ego
boundaries."
- We can use our body's physical energy. This energy is
added to the thought-element if we say self-talk statements
while we walk, dance, exercise, clean our home, or perform
other movements -- particularly if we say the words in the
rhythm of those movements.
- We are specific. We might use the statement, "I feel good,"
but there might be more benefit in specific statements,
e.g., "I enjoy the feeling of life in my body" or "I find pleasure
when I am with other people."
- We use short, simple statements. We use only one idea
in each self-talk statement. For example: "There is power in
everything I do," not "There is power and energy in all the
activities I perform, and so I am effective at work and in my
social activities."
- We speak in positive terms. For example: "I am grateful for
the things I have," not "I no longer hate my second-rate
possessions." If we repeat the second statement, the archetypal
fields do not consider the double negative (hating an undesired
thing); instead, they record and reinforce those
second-rate possessions by implanting thoughts, images, and energy
tones regarding them.
- We are direct. We say, "I enjoy expressing myself," not "I
want to express myself" or "I will try to express
myself" or "I should express myself."
- We can use the global phrase "I am [a particular quality]."
Self-talk statements are very powerful if they start with this
phrase; e.g., "I am happy" or "I am content." Because these
statements deal with the ego (or, more precisely, our
self-concept, which is a sub-constellation of the ego
constellation), they transcend any particular archetypal field, to
affect us favorably in every archetypal situation.
- We are not competitive. For example: "I do well in job
interviews," not "I am better than other people in job
interviews." The first statement is more effective, for various
reasons:
- The mind works best when it is focusing its own power. Our
energy is concentrated and focused.
- If we are competitive, our elements of aggression will
trigger reciprocal elements in other people, creating a
wasteful conflict.
- We are unconditional. For example, we say, "I love my son,
Bill," not "I love my son, Bill, even when he is a brat."
- We vary the words. Variations are useful because (1) they
prevent boredom after we have repeated a statement hundreds of
times, and (2) they allow us to test the effectiveness of
particular statements. Those variations can include:
- The person. For example:
- First person. "I enjoy my life."
- Second person. "You enjoy your life" -- referring to
yourself. When we use the second person, we can pretend that
someone is saying these statements to us.
- Third person. "He enjoys his life" -- referring to
yourself. When we are using the third person, we can pretend
that someone is talking about us.
- Our name. "Jim enjoys his life."
- A combination. "I, Jim, enjoy my life."
- The arrangement of words. For example, we might experiment
with the phrase, "Life has many pleasures," and then we can
try, "I find many pleasures in life."
- Rhyme and rhythm. If we say the statement with interesting
rhymes and rhythms, we will remember it more easily, and we
will engage the right hemisphere (which might be more receptive
to the statement).
- Different approaches to the same thought. Generally, we say
a statement in a straight-forward, present-tense format: "I
like who I am." But we can also use variations:
- Future tense. "I will like whom I am." It is most
important for us to say the statement in the present tense,
to affirm its reality now -- but we can also use the future
tense, to generate optimism for the future; i.e., we like
ourselves now, and we will continue to like
ourselves.
- Past tense. "I liked myself." Sometimes our past is too
painful to review because we remember only the unpleasant
moments; this pain cuts us off from our heritage, and our
learning experiences, and our pleasant memories.
Surely there were occasions when we did like
ourselves. In fact, self-love is our natural state (based
upon the dynamics of spirit); it is only our dysfunctional
thoughts, images, energy tones, and actions which block that
experience of self-love.
- Cancellations. We might need to use wording which
"cancels" specific mental habits; for example, if we
frequently say, "I don't deserve to be liked," then we
probably won't have much success with the statement, "I like
myself," because we already have a constellation which has
established the idea that we don't deserve to be
liked. (Logically, how could we like ourselves if we don't
deserve to be liked?) Therefore, we need to cancel the
previous statement, with a statement that "I deserve to be
liked." Similarly:
- The idea that "I don't have the right to like myself"
is changed to "I have the right to like myself."
- The idea that "I can't like myself" is changed to "I
can like myself."
- The idea that "Liking oneself is vanity" is changed
to "Liking oneself is a healthy form of self-love."